I think it is entirely possibly, re: the kerfluffle about Biden, that his intent was to offer warmth and encouragement through his touches, AND that it made those women feel uncomfortable in the moment, AND that the timing of their coming forward is politically motivated.

The problem with touchy-feely Uncle Joe — and I like the dude, and I think he has come a long way on women’s rights (though I, too, am still mad about Anita Hill and the other witnesses he chose not to call, along with some other issues) is that intent doesn’t outweigh impact. Some of the women and men and children he has gotten touchy-feely with enjoyed and welcomed it — and others did not. Their feelings are also valid.

We need to segue from a culture where those with power can touch, kiss, or otherwise help themselves to the bodies of other people without consent, to a culture where we ALWAYS ask for consent before touching others, who have not previously let us know our touch is welcome. We can either ask verbally, or by making a gesture, like opening our arms, plus a pause and wait. If I open my arms, do you move into them, or take a half-step back?

That half-beat of waiting for consent does NOT ruin physical or emotional closeness, but mauling someone because we THINK they should welcome our touch, often does.

I think most of us have been on the receiving end of physical touch/kiss we really didn’t want, but didn’t know how to fend it off or extricate ourselves gracefully. Likewise, we’ve probably all thrown our arms around someone and felt them stiffen up.