Yes, the need for connection exists. But not-naming a thing that exists doesn’t make it go away. In Western society, there are all kinds of privileges: white privilege, male privilege, straight privilege, able-bodied privilege, class privilege. “Pretty" privilege (we treat children, teens, and adults who are conventionally attractive better than those who are conventionally unattractive). Lots of people have some forms of privilege, and not others.

Yes, some people hear the term and shut down (hence the term, white fragility), but if we found a new way to talk about it, they’d shut down about that too. It’s not the words they find offensive, it’s the concept. Privilege of all sorts exists, and yes, we need to talk about it.